I had no other thought than to make the pain stop. That was it. The pain, emotional, not physical, was so great that I literally just could not stand it any longer.
I believe there is an afterlife. I just haven't determined what it is yet and that's okay. That's why there's a little thing called faith. Sounds funny coming from me, doesn't it?
I had no faith in this life but faith in the afterlife. Which actually makes sense when you think about it. Here we're surrounded by "humans" who have proven time and time again that they can't be trusted. In the afterlife, it's all souls who have lived life, learned lessons, and then moved on.
To what I guess I'll see someday.