Is it Better to Love More, or be the One who is Loved?

My response to Sharon Johnson’s post

Image by D1creations from Pixabay

In Memoriam A.H.H., Lord Alfred Tennyson wrote the line, “‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

With all due respect, I’m here to tell you that Tennison was full of shit.

I’ve written a few pieces this week about unrequited love. As the pieces were published I still had no idea what I was going to do about this “relationship”. You can read those here and here for the backstory.

This morning after a brief text exchange with the object of my affection I’ve made my decision.

I’m walking away.

He made it abundantly clear without him even being aware of doing so, exactly how he felt about me. I’m glad he can live his life in ignorance since I now, for the foreseeable future, live with the pain of knowing that not only am I not wanted but I am also not appreciated.

I’ve shed a couple of tears. That’s it. I’m holding what I know will be the excruciating agony that will come. The devastating pain that has kept me from being in a relationship for eight years now. The pain that I had been avoiding like the plaque. I had done so well for so long. Then that fat cherub…