This Pretty Much Sums It Up

I got nothing else to say

Darlin’, you give love a bad name
An angel’s smile is what you sell
You promise me heaven then put me through hell
Chains of love got a hold of me

When passion’s a prison you can’t break free
Oh! You’re a loaded gun, yeah
Oh! There’s nowhere to run
No one can save me,

The damage is done
Shot through the heart,
And you’re to blame!
You give love a bad name
(Bad name)
I play my part and you play your game
You give love a bad name!

No one can save me,
The damage is done
Shot through the heart
And you’re to blame!
You give love a bad name
(Bad name)
I play my part and you play your game

Those are the entirety of Bon Jovi’s lyrics, but they are the ones that resonate with me at this moment. I had the words “knife through the heart” in my head, but then this popped up in my Google search instead. Maybe I’ll go back and search again later.

Right now, my chest and throat are tighter than normal. But that’s my fault.

This whole thing is my fault.

I let my guard down. I knew better. The irony is that I’m in the middle of writing a piece on the new relational Medium and was going to tag a few of My Crew in it when a bomb landed in my lap.

Someone in My Crew had lied to me.

And not just one lie. Weeks worth of lies. Someone that I had been confiding in. Thank God it wasn’t deep or personal shit, or I’d really be wrapped around the axel right now. But still not stuff that I would tell to a total stranger. But I did and I have. Without knowing it. I don’t know if that somehow makes it worse or not.

I write about me, my world, my life. I hide nothing and I hold nothing back. So anyone of sound mind would have, should have, could have known that I would not be the best person to lie to. Lying is never a good thing. White lies not to hurt your friend’s feelings? Okay, I give those a pass because the intentions behind the lie were benevolent.

But lying for the sake of lying? And then only to reveal the truth afterward? What was the point of the deception and now pain? Why not keep up the lie? Why tell the truth now? The whole thing is muddy, unseemly, and…

I don’t know. I’m at a loss.

Maybe my mistake was once again believing that everyone is just like me. An open book. What you see is what you get. Saran Wrap is envious of me most days. That’s why I piss so many people off. I tell it like it is.

“Pour some sugar on me”. I quoted that song over the weekend as an editor’s inside joke. Wanna know what the joke was? I hurt the feelings of writers. I’m sure I’m not the only editor that has heard that. It isn’t like I’m evil and get off on making people question their desire to write. I am who I am and most people get me.

I’m in hot water for being too honest too often. Now here’s someone who’s crossed the line by being a liar.

Stop the ride. I want off.

Am I that easy after all I’ve been through to be taken for a ride? I thought I had beaten the stupid out of myself by now.

Looks like I was wrong. Again.

MetroLyrics